Sometimes you have to
by Dorito42069
Summary: Sometimes you have to take care of yourself because nobody else is going to do it for you.
1. Don't leave me, Phil

Dan and Phil stumbled into their appartment. Dan kissed Phil, but Phil pulled back.

"Dan you're drunk, and sometimes you have to take care of yourself because nobody else is going to do it for you." Phil said, leading him to the bedroom.

"i don't care, I... want... to have sex... with... you." Dan said drunkenly. Phil sighed and helped Dan change out of his clothes and helped him into bed. Dan curled up on Phil and they fell asleep quickly. Phil woke up around 7am and remembered that they ate all of dan's cereal, so he went out to get more.

Dan woke up at 7:30 and he went into the kitchen to find Phil.

"Phil?" Dan asked but he was all alone. _Oh gods what if he left me waht if he doesn't love me because I got drunk what if he never comes back?_ Dan asked himself. He sunk oto the floor hyperventilating and crying. He stayed on the ground crying for awhile and didn't hear the door when Phil got back. Phil found Dan in the kitchen on the floor. He picked Dan up and took him to the couch. When Phil sat down Dan crawled into his lap.

" Dan, are you ok? What happened?" Phil asked, petting dan's hair.

"I woke up and I couldn't find you... And then I thought that you left me because you didn't love me because I can't control myself and then I start to drink too much and I was afraid that you didn't want me and I-please, please don't leave" Dan started crying again.

"shh, shh. It's ok, shh, it's okay Dan, you're okay. I love you and i would never do anything to hurt you, and I would never ever leave you." Phil said

dan looked up at Phil _gods his eyes are so cute_ Phil thought. " promise?" Dan asked.

"promise." Phil responded, kissing his boyfriend. Dan leaned back until he was laying on the couch, Phil straddled him. Roughly kissing him, Phil got up and went to go get a condom and lube. When he came back Dan was shirtless and working on his pants. They quickly undressed and Phil put the condom on the cofee table. He lubed up his fingers. Before slipping one in and out of Dan. Soon he added a second and third finger to his thrusting, careful not to hurt the younger boy.

"Phil... Please..." Dan whimpered. Phil rolled on the condom, and handed Dan the lube, he knew that Dan liked to give handjobs, and he was good at them. Dan poured the lube into his hand and started pumping phil's dick. He ran his thumb over the slit and Phil moaned. Once he decided Phil was lubed up enough, he stopped and let Phil take over. Phil thrusted into Dan, fast and hard but still careful not to hurt him. Phil already knew where Dan's prostate was so he made sure to hit it every time.

"Ahh... Mmmmm... Phil! Right there! Yes! Ahhhh..." Dan moaned, reaching towards his cock. He started pumping in time with phil's thrusts. He came onto his and Phil's stomachs. Phil thruster into Dan thrice more and then came. He pulled out and disposed of the condom. They put their clothes back on, and Phil laid down on the couch while Dan turned on the television.


	2. Daniel and James Howell

"Hey Danny boy!" James yelled at Dan. Dan was trying to hide from James so he curled up into a ball. James kicked him in the side," you like that, faggot?" James yelled and spit in his face. Dan crawled away, towards the street. He couldn't live in this house with James, and his mum, while his dad just sat back and watched them hurt him. Dan was running but James was faster, he always had been. Dan looked back and everything went into slow motion. Dan saw the light blue minivan, he tried to scream at James but nothing came out. He watched the car hit his brother, the wheels ran over James like he was nothing and then it sped up and drove away.

"JAMES!" Dan yelled, but James was dead. Dan turned and kept running. "Out of this city, out of this state, i'm never ever going to come back here." He said running.

Phil woke up on the couch holding Dan in his arms, Dan was still asleep but he was crying again.

"Dan, Dan wake up." Phil said, shaking Dan slightly. Dan woke up and hugged Phil, breathing in his warm scent. "Hey, it's ok. What were you dreaming about?" Phil asked

"J-James...I was running... And he was- and we were only 14.. And I just-" Dan whispered into phil's chest, crying silently.

"it's ok, Dan, James is gone, he can't hurt you anymore." Phil whispered. Dan sniffled, hugging Phil tighter. Phil petted dan's hair. "Shh, shh, it's ok Dan, i'm here. It's ok, you're ok." Phil said reassuringly. They laid on the couch for 15 minutes before phil's stomach grumbled. " want to go get something to eat?" He asked Dan.

"not hungry." Dan responded quietly.

"you're never hungry but it's noon, you need to eat something, i'll make pasta, ok?" Phil said.

"Ok." Dan responded. Phil walked to the kitchen, he grabbed the pasta and started boiling a pot of water. Dan hugged him from behind, resting his head on Phil's shoulder. Phil moved dan's arms and Dan frowned.

"i'm going to go to the bathroom, i'll be right back." Phil said and left. Dan saw that there were bubbles in the water so he stuck his hand in it. He was crying again but he didn't care. When Phil returned he saw Dan staring into the pot. He grabbed dan's arm, pulling his hand out of the water. Dan was silently crying. Phil turned on the sink and turned the water to cold.

"Dan, put your hand in that." Phil said," Dan, why do you do this to yourself?" He asked. Dan just shrugged. Phil sighed," Dan how long was your hand in the water?" He asked.

"I dunno, like 10 seconds..." Dan responded. Phil turned off the stove, and got a paper towel for Dan to dry his hand with.

"Why don't we go out to eat?" Phil asked. They got into the car and Phil drove them to the nearest McCheesy burger shak, they went through the drive thru so that nobody would see dan's hand. They ate in the car, pj called Phil.

pj- "hey do you and Dan want to go to this new night club?"

phil-" sure text me the adress, we'll meet you there."

Pj- "great! See you in 15?"

Phil-" 15."

Phil hung up," we're going to a night club with pj, but Dan, please don't get wasted this time, it's only 6pm and sometimes you have to take care of yourself because nobody else is going to do it for you." Phil said to Dan.


	3. I don't love you

When they got back to the flat Dan was so drunk he could barely walk, Phil knew it was going to happen but he wished it wouldn't happen just this once. Phil carried Dan to the bedroom and helped him undress. Once they were both in bed, Dan rolled on top of Phil, who wrapped his arms around his drunk boyfriend.

"I... Loooove youu..." Dan said drunkenly.

"I know, but you need to sleep now, baby." Phil responded.

"mkay." Dan said, just minutes later he was snoring softly. Not long after Phil was also asleep.

He was 14 "You can't hide from us Danny boy!" He heard his mum yell, she pulled open the shower curtain and found him curled up in the shower. She had a wooden spatula and was hitting Dan with it. James was behind her laughing.

" what are you going to do, faggot, go succ a dick?" James laughed. Dan was crying. He was 16. Then all the sudden he was at his ex boyfriend's house. He heard the door slam. And then kris was in the bedroom, he unzipped his pants.

" Succ it, bitch." Kris was saying. Dan did as he was told, hoping not to be punished. Kris came hard into Dan's mouth, Dan had no choice but to swallow it. Kris pushed him onto his stomach on the bed. He pulled down his pants and without warning pushed into Dan. He just cried silently into the pillow. He was 17. Then he was in his boss's office.

"I quit!" Dan yelled but his boss caught his arm and jerked it up.

"You don't leave until I say you can, slut." His boss responded pushing him into the wall," get undressed you bastard." He said, Dan quickly undressed and his boss pushed him against the wall, slapping dan's ass hard. Dan woke up crying. _phil is still asleep._ He though heading towards the bathroom. He found a razor blade under the sink.

"Stupid. Stupid. Dan." He said cutting his wrist with each word," he won't ever love you, nobody loves you." He looked at the mirror," you'd be better off dead." He said making a deep cut on his right wrist. Dan dropped the razor blade and curled up on the floor crying.

Phil woke up and realized Dan wasn't in the bed," Dan?" He asked the empty room. He heard a sniffle come from the bathroom. He opened the door, and saw Dan crying on the floor. He sat down next to Dan and pulled him into his lap. He carefully looked at dan's wrists, he saw the bleeding cuts counting 5 in all most of them weren't too deep but one was.

"Dan, baby, why did you do this?" Phil asked. Dan sniffled.

" I... I had a dream... My mum, James, my ex, my boss... All people who I thought L-loved me... But they all hurt me and so will you, Phil. Everyone does." Dan said quietly.

"Dan, sometimes you have to take care of yourself because. Nobody else is going to do it for you. I would never ever do anything to hurt you, I love you." Phil said.

"No you don't. Nobody does one day you'll leave and you'll say _I don't love you_ and I can't live without you, Phil, I can't." Dan said, tears soaking through phil's shirt. Phil pulled Dan up and sat him on the sink counter. He got some Bactine and a rag. He quickly cleaned the cuts being extra careful with the deep one on his right wrist. When he finished he kissed Dan softly and carried him to the couch. Phil got Dan a glass of water.

"Dan what do you want to eat?" He asked.

"not hungry." Dan responded.

"Dan, you're never hungry but you need to eat something, how about I make pancakes?" Phil said heading back to the kitchen.


	4. Phil, my cereal

Dan and Phil were at a night club with pj again. Dan was taking shots at the bar while Phil and pj talked.

"I don't know pj, I think we should stop taking him out, he always gets so wasted, and he can't take care of himself for an hour without hurting himself." Phil said.

"look Phil, I really don't know what to do with him." Pj responded.

"ok well I better go before he dies of an overdose, bye peej." Phil said, walking over to Dan," I think you've had enough." Phil told him and put an arm around his wait helping home walk out to the car.

"But... I do-don't wanna go home." Dan said, then threw up on his shirt. Phil did dan's seatbelt and started the car.

"Dan you need to stop getting wasted every time we go out, sometimes you have to take care of yourself because nobody else is going to do it for you." Phil said. The arrived at the the flat, Phil undid dan's seatbelt and helped Dan into the flat. Dan stumbled and almost fell but Phil caught him, then he picked Dan up and carried him to the bathroom. He helped Dan get undressed and into the tub. After bathing Dan they headed back into the bedroom, Phil undressed and the crawled into bed.

"G-night." Dan said, yawning. Within minutes they were sleeping. "I can't believe I loved you for even a second." Phil said, as he slammed the door. Dan ran after him.

"Phil! Wait I love you I don't know what to do without you!" Dan yelled.

"I don't care what you do as Long as it doesn't envolve me." Phil said, driving off. Dan ran inside and grabbed some vodka, drinking the whole bottle he slid to the floor and cried then threw the bottle at the wall and ran into the parking lot. He dropped to his knees and screamed at the top of his lungs still crying.

Phil shook Dan awake," Dan?" He asked. Dan woke up crying, he hugged Phil tightly.

"please don't ever leave me Phil, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Please please don't leave me, Phil please I can't live without you please please please." Dan cried.

"Dan, I won't ever leave I promise, I love you more than anything. But Dan, sometimes you have to take care of yourself because nobody else is going to do it for you." Phil whispered. Dan looked up at him. " you have pretty, pretty eyes." Phil said, kissing Dan. Dan kissed back needingly, tugging at phil's underwear. Phil quickly removed them and dan's. Phil retrieved a condom and lube, from the drawer in the nightstand. Dan lifted his legs, Phil lubed up his fingers quickly, carefully stretching Dan. He ripped open the condom with his teeth. Dan put some lube in his hand and gave Phil a handjob. Phil was already leaking precum, he thrusted into Dan.

"Harder Phil! Aauuggghhh..." Dan moaned. Phil hit his prostate every thrust. Dan was losing it he reached for his hard throbbing dick but Phil moved his hand.

"I want to make you come untouched." Phil said. Dan nodded, biting his lip. That made Phil crazy so he started thrusting faster. Dan came onto Phil, who came inside of Dan. He pulled out and disposed of the condom. Then Phil headed to the kitchen and got dan's cereal.

"PHILLL! My cereal!" Dan laughed.


	5. Tomorrow

"hey Dan i've got an idea!" Phil said excitedly. They were cuddling on the couch watching _the babadook_. Dan was laying on top of Phil, who had his arms wrapped around the younger boy.

"Mmm... Can't we just watch the movie?" Dan asked lazily.

"Ok after the movie," phil said bending over to kiss Dan, spiderman style. Phil, not being a fan of horror, got scared and would hide his face in dan's shoulder, which would make Dan giggle. When the movie was _finally_ over Dan asked," what's your idea?"

"We should go for a drive." Phil said.

"Ok..." Dan said as he got up. They headed out to the car. When they got in Dan asked," why do you want to go for a drive?"

Phil sighed as he pulled out of the parking lot, " it's such a beautiful day, don't you want to enjoy it instead of staying inside?" Phil said. Dan knew something was up though.

"Phil... You're acting weird..." Dan said quietly, looking down at his lap.

"we need to talk." He said. Dan looked at him, scared.

"Phil please please don't break up with me I don't know how to live without you, please Phil I love you Phil ple-" he said getting cut off by his crying. Phil parked in he nearest parking lot, and pulled Dan into his lap.

"Shh, shh it's ok baby, i'm not going to leave you. I love you, Dan and I would never ever do anything to hurt you." Phil said reassuringly, Dan sniffles quietly." Dan sometimes you have to take care of yourself because nobody else is going to do it for you." Phil stroking dan's hair. Dan looked up at Phil. _He has the cutest eyes._ Phil thought. He kissed Dan passionately, they moved to the back seat so they could have more room. Dan tugged at Phil's pants needingly. Phil pulled off his pants and underwear. Dan stared at phil's errection hungrily, before taking the whole thing in his throat. Phil moaned with pleasure. Dan bobbed his head, swirling his Tongue around the older man's cock. He licked the silt staring Phil in the eyes. They kept eye contact as dan slowly bobbed down and up. He slowly picked up the pace, phil bucked his hips. He yelled Dan's name as he came into dan's mouth. Dan swallowed it all.

"Gods I love you, Dan." Phil said. Dan nodded.

"Well we should probably get home now." Dan said, wriggling his eyebrows, like one would.

I'M SORRY THIS CHAPTER WAS SO SHORT IN DEALING WITH THINGS RIGHT NOW I'LL TRY TO UPDATE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE BUT I MIGHT NOW BE ABLE TO UPDATE EVERY WEEK.


	6. Please, dan

Phil spotted dan taking shots at the bar. Dan was obviously very drunk, Phil doubted he could walk without support. He escaped his group of friends, making his way towards dan. He saw Phil and giggled.

"dan, come on. It's time to go home." Phil said taking dan's hands.

"but I don't wanna go." Dan whined. Phil pulled dan up off the bar stool, dan collapsed forward onto Phil. He held him tight, kissing the younger boy's shoulder. He looked up at dan, who kissed him softly. Phil put his arm around dan's waist and half dragged dan to the doors.

Phil pulled his drunk boyfriend to the bus stop across the street from the bar, waving goodbye to their friends. Dan kissed Phil, before pulling a cigarette box out of his pocket.

"Yiu knew Phil, I used't hate smokin but now I kinna liek it" Dan said drunkenly trying to light a cigarette, Phil took it out of dan's mouth dropping it in the bus station's trash can. Dan frowned. Phil didn't know when Dan had started smoking, but he didn't like it.

Phil sighed," Dan, why do you do this to yourself? You're drunk, you're smoking,That's bad for you. Sometimes you have to take care of yourself because nobody else is going to do it for you." Dan looked down at his feet, tears dripping from his face wet the concrete. phil sighed, he wrapped his arms around Dan who rested his head on Phil's shoulder. Dan rested his hands on phil's ass. Phil grabbed dan's hands, holding his wrists when a sudden urge emerged in his bladder.

"I need to pee, i'll be right back Dan, stay right here." Phil said, pulling away from Dan and walking towards the Taco Today Tuesday Tabeno across the parking lot. Dan stayed put until he saw Phil go into the reastruant. He saw a car and stumbled towards it, thoughtlessly. He didn't see that a red sports car was speeding towards him. Phil walked out of the Taco Tday Tuesday Tabeno, he saw Dan standing in the street and broke into a panicking run.

" DAN WHAT THE FRICK ARE YOU DOING?!" Phil screamed, but he was too late. He saw the car hit His drunk boyfriend. Phil ran into the street standing over Dan. He quickly dialed 999. The ambulance arrived 10 minutes later to Phil standing in the middle of the street crying over dan. The car was gone.

Dan woke up to see Phil sitting next to him in a green chair, with a glazed look in his eyes. He seemed to be in a hospital bed. Phil looked like he hadn't slept in days. Phil was staring at the ground, he looked so sad.

"Phillll..." dan whispered quietly, he could tell something was off.

"you're awake." Phil whispered, crying silently.

Dan nodded slowly. "Are you ok, Phil?" Dan asked.

Phil stood abruptly, "Am I ok? You were drunk and you got in front of a car while I wasn't looking. Dan I love you more than anything, please, please don't do anything stupid" Phil whispered, dropping back onto the chair. Dan looked at his tired boyfriend, wanting nothing more than to kiss him and make all his problems dissapear.

" I'm sorry, I haven't slept." Tears rolled down his cheeks. Dan nodded, looking down at his leg. He had a white cast going up to his knee, and bruises and scrapes all up and down his arms.


	7. We need to talk

Dan crutched into the flat, Phil following him. Dan collapsed on the couch, dropping his crutches on the ground.

" dan you are supposed to keep your leg elevated." Phil said, picking up a throw pillow. Dan set his leg on it. Phil turned on the television and walked into the kitchen.

"hey, dan what do you want to eat?" Phil asked.

" not hungry." Dan yelled back at the kitchen.

" dan you're never hungry, but you need to eat something, how about pb&j" Phil said, heading back to the kitchen. A few minutes later Phil emerged from the kitchen, two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in hand. He handed dan one. Dan, not liking the crust, peeled it off his sandwich.

"Dan we need to talk." Phil said," I love you, I really do... but-" dan was crying.

" Phil are you going to leave me? Please, please don't! Phil please I love you." Dan said, tears streaming down his face.

"No, no baby." Phil responded, pulling dan on this lap." This is the problem. You need help. I've seen you get wasted every thursday, i've seen you eyeing the razors in the bathroom. You always start to cry when I try to bring this up, but dan, I think you need a therapist." Phil said hushed, the the curled up dan in his lap.

"okay..." dan sniffled. Today was thorsday, which usually meant pj would call Phil and tell him all about this new club, then that night they would meet pj there and dan would get wasted. That, however, was not the case today. Phil went to get his phone to text pj, but he saw that an that an unknown number was calling him.

" hello?" Phil asked

" how are your sandwiches?" A raspy voice asked, breathing heavily into the phone. They hung up before Phil could ask who it was.

" Who was that? Dan asked. Phil shook his head and sat back on the couch, taking a bite of the half of the sandwich dan hadn't eaten. He shrugged, _not bad._

"Dan, eat your sandwich." Phil said getting up to turn the television on. Dan bit into the sandwich, getting some jelly on his shirt. Phil got up and tossed him a roll of paper towels, causing dan to drop the sandwich, making an even bigger mess. They both giggled and Phil helped dan up. Dan hobbled to the shower while Phil cleaned up the couch.

"Philllll" dan whined from the bathroom. He quickly wiped up the jelly and headed to the bathroom. Dan was on the ground wearing only his shorts.

"What happened?" Phil asked, helping dan up. Dan slumped against Phil hugging him.

"I tripped over my foot." Dan said, they both chuckled. Phil took his shirt off, then helped dan get his shorts off and get into the shower. After a quick shower, dan hobbled back into the living room. Phil was on the couch so dan just later on top of him, settling his face into phil's shoulder. He was only wearing a towel, Phil wrapped his arms around dan. Dan felt himself growing hard from phil's jeans against him. Phil pushed down dan's towel and flipped them over, careful of dan's leg. Phil pulled off his jeans, and underwear. He grinded their errections together slowly. Dan whined, loving the touch of phil's penis to his own.

"Phil..." dan tried to say, but it only came out a low moan.

"you like that baby?" Phil asked, slipping a finger inside of dan. Before he knew it one finger became two, then three, and finally phil's tip was against dan's entrance, pushing in slowly. Dan moaned into the couch. Phil thrusted into dan at a quick pace, but soon found himself just frantically thrusting. Dan started pumping his own cock, trying to time his pumps with phil's thrusts. He soon CAME onto the couch. Phil thruster into dan twice more, then came into dan. He collapsed onto the younger boy, not bothering to pull out. He kissed dan's shoulder then finally removed his penis from dan. They laid on the couch for the rest of the day, too lazy to get up.


	8. It's time

Phil shivered as he woke up on the couch. The last thing he remembered was falling asleep with dan. He picked up his phone to check the time. _3_ _:00am? Where's dan?_

"Dan?" Phil called out. He heard a whimper coming from the bathroom. He got up and went to inspect. Dan was sitting against the cabinet under the sink, there was blood all over his shirt and the counter top. Dan looked up at Phil, his eyes red from crying.

"dan, baby what happened?" Phil asked.

Dan tried to talk but all that came out was a choked," phillll..." Phil pulled dan up and sat him on the counter. He looked dan up and down trying to find out where the blood was coming from. Dan had his arms fessed tight against his torso, as if to hide something. Phil tried to pull at dan's hands, but dan resisted. Phil sighed kissing dan's forehead lightly.

"Dan, baby sometimes you have to take care of yourself because nobody else is going to do it for you." Phil whispered. Dan reluctantly let Phil talk his hands this time, but he still looked away, afraid Phil would get angry. After Phil didn't say anything he looked back. Phil was staring at dan's wrists with a disappointed look on his face.

"Phil... Phil please i'm sorry... Phil please I didnt-" dan was cut off by phil's lips on his own. When they separated, Phil spoke

" dan... dan..." for once dan had done something Phil couldn't handle," dan... why?"

"I... I just... Phil?" Dan looked worried, and he should have been. Phil dropped dan's wrists and turned away abruptly.

"Phil? Phil what are you doing? Phil?" Dan whimpered.

"dan, i'm sorry. I really love you, I do. But I can't handle this anymore." Phil said," i'm leaving." _Where the fuck AM I going to go at three in the morning?_ He just walked out the door though. Once he was outside he called pj

"yo what the fuck dude it's three in the morning." pj said, his voice gruffly. Phil must have woken him up.

"Sorry man, but can I crash at your place for awhile?" Phil asked shakily.

"Yeah man, what happened?" Pj asked.

"later." Phil responded then hung up, he got in the car. It felt as if he drove for seconds when he reached pj's house. He took the key from under the potted plant pj kept in case of emergency.

"yo, peej." Phil said.

" man what the hell happened? It's three thirty in the morning." Pj responded. Phil explained the whole story. By the time he was finished it was around four AM, and pj had somewhere to be the next day.

dan was still sitting on the sink counter where Phil had left him. _Stupid, stupid he never loved you. He wouldn't leave if he loved you. D_ an cried to himself, holding his hands to his torso as if Phil hadn't looked at his wrists and was still in their- _his_ apartment. He didn't bother going to bed, he just stumbled into the bedroom and collapsed onto the ground. He looked around the room, remembering all the times Phil had told him he loved him, _lied to him. Lied to his face_ dan couldn't be in the flat anymore. He stumbled outside and just sat for awhile, still holding his hands to his torso. He wasn't hiding the cuts anymore though. He was grabbing at his bare chest. Where Phil used to touch him, kiss him.


	9. I promise

"Dan, sometimes you have to take care of yourself because nobody else is going to do it for you." Phil said closing the door of their- no, dan's- flat. How could I let this happen? dan asked himself as he slid down to the floor, crying silently. He laid on the floor just crying for an hour before deciding to go to the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey and took a swig. He cried and called Phil. After 14 calls with no answer and 7 texts he threw his phone at the wall and wandered towards their- no, his- bedroom. He flopped down on the bed, not bothering to brush his teeth or change out of his clothes. He cried himself to sleep.

phil woke up the next morning in a hotel room. He checked his phone, 14 missed calls from Dan, 3 voimails, and 7 texts. Phil decided to read the texts first.

dan- hey, i'm sorry

dan- I love you, Phil.

dan- I really do Phil.

dan- please come back Phil, please.

Dan- Phil please i'm sorry.

dan- Phil pleas I need you

dan- nevermind you probably don't even care.

Phil sat up on the bed, worried. he listened to the voicemails next.

dan-"(sniffles) Phil i'm sorry... Phil please... (Sniffle)"

dan-"(crying) Phil i'm sorry Phil I love you Phil i'm so sorry"

dan- "(crying) you probably don't care but Phil I really really need you... Phil please..."

phil was really worried now. He quickly dressed and got in his car. He called Dan but got voicemail. Of course, i'm the one who walked out on him, so why would he answer? Phil thought to himself. he was driving to their- no, dan's- flat. He realized where he was going and pulled over. He called Dan again. Of course no response. He pulled the car over and slammed his hands on the steering wheel, crying. Why why why? Gods I just hope he hasn't done anything. Phil thought to himself. Phil really didn't want to leave that night but he had to, he just couldn't handle it, couldn't handle Dan anymore.

"sometimes you have to take care of yourself because nobody else is going to do it for you." Phil said to himself, Dan couldn't take care of him, Dan couldn't even take care of himself. So Phil had to take care of both of them and he just couldn't do it anymore. Gods I hope Dan is ok. Phil thought to himself.

Dan woke up and checked the time. It was 4pm, well shit Dan thought to himself before checking his messages 2 missed calls.. From Phil? Dan was confused he couldn't bring himself to call him back. He was afraid Phil had just called to tell him he didn't love him anymore. Dan couldn't handle it. He went into the kitchen to find something to drink he tried water but he needed something stronger. He settled for vodka. Once he was drunk enough he stumbled into the bathroom, finding a razor blade underneath the sink.

"Gods, Phil, why... Phil? Why did you do this Phil? I HATE YOU!" He yelled, screaming at the mirror. He looked down into the bloody sink his vision blurring.

phil was at some bar with pj, he didn't know how he got there but pj was wasted, Phil didn't drink so he drove pj home, and drove to his- no, dan's- flat. Phil ran up the steps and unlocked the door.

"Dan?" He asked, it looked like nobody was home. Phil went surching through the flat, only to find Dan drunk, crying, and bleeding on the floor of the bathroom. He sat down and pulled Dan into his lap, tears silently streaming down his cheeks.

"Dan, baby what happened?" Phil asked quietly. Dan just cried and shook his head. Phil realized Dan wouldn't say anything yet, so Phil got up.

"No... Phil... Don't go..." Dan whimpered.

"I'm only getting a rag." He responded getting up to get a rag to clean dan's wrists. He grabbed the Bactine and poured some onto the rag.

"Dan, this might sting a little.." Phil said, cleaning the cuts. Dan winced, tears still streaming down his face. Once they had cleaned the cuts Phil got some bandages. He helped Dan undress and get into bed, laying down next to him, cradling thin in his arms.

" Dan, I love you more than anything" Phil said

"Phil, I love you more than anything." Dan responded, and in that moment, holding each other in their arms it seemed as if the world around them had disappeared.


End file.
